


absolution

by mcmeekin



Category: Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Power Rangers, Power Rangers Turbo, Power Rangers Zeo
Genre: Gen, Warnings inside, like things get pretty shippy for a minute there but it's just a minute i promise, this is a gen fic i promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-06
Updated: 2015-06-06
Packaged: 2018-04-03 02:56:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4083985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcmeekin/pseuds/mcmeekin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>maybe things would have been different had you chosen to stay.<br/>(but who let high schoolers save the world, anyway?)</p><p> </p><p>snapshots of a life lived by katherine hillard: on guilt, glowing eyes, and growing up</p>
            </blockquote>





	absolution

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kathillards](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kathillards/gifts).



> wowza, this turned out to be…a thing that happened. tried out a new writing thing, hope it works.  
> i wrote it all out of order then pieced it back together so if anything seems weird that was probably why. also early writers did not give a SHIT about continuity so i don't either tbh.  
> also i think we've established that i am INCAPABLE of writing anything short so...here we are. hope you like it!!!
> 
> WARNINGS: suicide mentions, depression (?), supreme guilt issues, alcohol, terrible parenting
> 
> prompt: "I basically just really want fic /exploring/ Kat, a character study of sorts. Her emotions, her inner conflicts, her fears and hopes and desires, her friendships and her love for all her teammates -- everything. I checked Zeo for this, but obviously if you wanna include anything from MMPR to Turbo to post-Turbo, I have no problem with that (post-ranger fics are my faves).  
> I definitely don't mind exploring her relationship with Tommy, as that was an important part of her character, but I would also love exploration of her other relationships: Kimberly, Cassie, the rest of the MMPR/Zeo team she served with, even other rangers she didn't meet (Andros and Zhane and especially Karone? Dino Thunder? Megaforce via the Legendary War, particularly Emma? Anyone at all, really). Romantic or platonic, I don't mind either way - I love all her relationships, and I just want an in-depth exploration of Kat as a person and her emotions and her life."

One day you will look back on the journey that led you to where you stand and think that the first step must have been the first time your mother told you that you took up too much space.

Realizing that your mother hates you is a fairly good motivator for finding an excuse out of the country.

So, when you lose a diving match by one point, you move to America where your father lives. Maybe putting two people who are both not good enough for your mother together will be a good mix. Two wrongs making a right.

 

Rita finds you the day after you land in California.

 

You emerge with a morpher and a new set of friends, and it seems unendingly unfair on the universe’s part. The villain emerges victorious. The heroine moves to Florida.

 

You find out very quickly that your dad doesn’t care about you any more than your mom did. You could disappear for months, and he would not bat an eye. Even if he did care, talking to him about the events that unfolded is out of the equation. You can’t just explain to a parent or teacher or therapist that you were literally a monster for short period of time. And that you spent a longer period of time trying to kill people who are now your closest friends.

 

You start drafting letters to your teammates in your head.

Dear Adam,

Sorry that I’m not a good enough fighter.

Love, Kat

 

Dear Rocky,

Sorry that I’m not a good enough ranger.

Love, Kat

 

Dear Aisha,

Sorry that I’m not a good enough friend.

Love, Kat

 

Dear Billy,

Sorry that you can’t look at me straight because all you see is who I am not.

Love, Kat

 

Dear Tommy,

Sorry that my arrival was so untimely and unwelcome. Sorry that I’m not her. Sorry that I’m a reminder of an experience you keep trying to forget.

Love, Kat

 

(Dear Kimberly,

Sorry that I’m not as good as you.

Love, Kat)

They’re a work-in-progress.

 

You try not to think about Tommy too much. Tommy, whose life is as much an apology as yours is, who you could see yourself loving, who you might already be halfway to loving. Rita’s magic left you with an empty feeling, and you have a sneaking suspicion that he is the cause of it. You look at him, and it feels like you’re seven years old again, standing on the diving board as your classmates shout dares at you, saying that you won’t do it, you’re too scared. It felt exhilarating and terrifying, standing on that board. The water was deep and far away, enticing and dangerous. That’s the feeling you get when you look at him.

That first dive, that experience of falling, felt like freedom, and you’ve been trying to recreate that feeling ever since your final fall from grace. Maybe that’s what falling in love with him will feel like. Not that that's a thought you dwell on. After all, you're trying not to think about him too much.

 

Tanya arrives, and you start drafting another letter. 

Dear Tanya,

Sorry for what you’re about to go through.

Love, Kat

You send a silent apology to Aisha for whatever happened to make her not say goodbye.

 

You still don’t let yourself think about Tommy too much until Kimberly writes him that letter. Everyone else is surprised, but you aren’t, not really. Kimberly always struck you as someone two steps ahead of everyone else; dragging behind a boyfriend who kept looking over his shoulder at his mistakes does not feel like Kim’s style.

Suddenly there’s no reason to try not to think about Tommy.

(You think about two wrongs making a right and how well that worked out for you last time.)

 

Billy comes and sits in your room while you’re up a mountain and near some ski slopes. You’ve been thinking a lot about if Kimberly’s letter had arrived later or if the blond snowboarder had left earlier. Neither you nor Billy has spoken for a while when you ask, “Do you ever think that fate might be real?”

Billy thinks about it for a moment. “What, like, we’re always meant to do the things that we do at the time that we do them?”

You shrug. “Something like that.”

“Then, no,” he says, rather confidently. “I think we all have some measure of choice over our actions.”

“In that case,” you begin hesitantly, “do you think there is some version of events where I didn’t do the things that I did? Do you think I had a choice somewhere in there?”

Billy looks up at you, and he only looks thoughtful, not judgmental or worried, like any of your teammates would look. That’s what you appreciate about Billy.

Finally, he shrugs. “Maybe. But just because I don’t believe in fate, doesn’t mean it’s not real.” A pause. “Three and a half years ago I didn’t believe in magic. There’re all sorts of things that are real that I don’t believe in.”

 

Jason comes back, and Rocky feels like he suddenly can’t measure up to his predecessor. You almost want to laugh. Has he not always felt the weight of not measuring up pressing down on his shoulders? Does he not always feel the disappointment of his teammates when he fails to be as good?

Rocky gets over it. You envy him.

But you find that you like Jason. Like his steady presence and reassuring demeanor. Like how he buys you ice cream without asking when he realizes that you’re completely wiped after a battle. Like the way he offers to help you with a few fighting moves that you struggle with. You imagine him wearing red, standing next to Kimberly. You find that the mental image feels right, feels satisfying. Maybe he was the one in the letter that Kim wrote. You can picture it, but you don’t ask.

Imagining Jason as a leader feels right, and you find yourself comparing him to Tommy. You think the difference is that Tommy is much more big picture while Jason is more interpersonal. Tommy might forget your birthday if there are three monsters to fight that day, but Jason will remember that it’s your half birthday even if the entire Machine Empire comes down to fight him personally that day. But you find that you trust Tommy a little more to save the world.

It takes you until you see him standing next to Jason for you to understand. Understand that Tommy isn’t just apologizing, as you once thought; he’s compensating. He’s righting his wrongs by creating new rights. Tommy can never go back and take back all the times he fought Jason in the past, but he can invite Jason to fight next to him again.

You realize that you might be doing that, too. You’re apologizing for the wrongs you created and trying to create enough rights that your wrongs will cancel out. And the best way you know how to create rights is to protect the people around you who are already so good at doing the right thing. Your past actions show it.

(Your friends were in trouble, but you sprained your ankle. So you walked three miles on it, fought a few Cogs, and apologized for not walking faster.)

And your actions in the future will continue to show it.

(You know that you can’t defeat Archerina, but if she wants you to fight her in order to regain your friends, then you will lose and regain them.)

(But maybe this mindset is something you should apologize for, too.)

 

You decide to break up with Tommy Oliver when you realize he’s too good for you.

All his memories are gone, and he still wants to save the world. He’s inherently good, and you’re inherently not. It’s not a good combination.

You tell him to remember his friends because you secretly hope that he won’t remember you.

 

You consider Billy the first to actively give up.

Everyone else who left had bigger and better things to move on to. He doesn’t, but he moves on anyway. You think about the way that Billy has looked at Tommy over the past two years and the way it’s changed in the past few months. _There’re all sorts of things that are real that I don’t believe in._ You silently add Tommy Oliver to the list of things Billy Cranston doesn’t believe in, and add Billy Cranston to the list of wrongs Tommy Oliver has to right.

You look at Billy on the viewing globe and can’t decide if leaving is the bravest or most cowardly thing he’s ever done.

 

The first time you see Kimberly again feels contradictory.

You think it might be fate’s way of entertaining itself, what you see before you. The flawless foils of the failed, now snarling and smirking in a way that you imagine you must have once upon a yesterday.

But, on the other hand, isn’t this how it’s supposed to go? The heroine returns from Florida victoriously, demanding that the villain return the life that she stole from her.

(Kim snarls, “Pink is out,” at you, and you believe her.)

 

When everything is over, you find yourself accidentally alone with Kimberly. You had all stayed at Ernie’s way past closing time, catching up and laughing and talking about nothing. Everyone had trickled off slowly, with Adam being the last to leave, besides you and Kimberly. The door closes behind him, and the words almost jump out of your mouth.

“I have to ask you something, Kim.”

She raises her eyebrows at you. “Well. Fire away, then.” She leans back in her chair, expectantly.

You take a deep breath. “In the letter, you said that you were breaking up with Tommy because there was another boy,” you begin hesitantly. Kimberly looks at you calmly, apparently unsurprised that you know the contents of the letter. Taking her silence as permission, you plow on, “I don’t think that was the real reason.” You suddenly remember the way that Jason hugged Kimberly after winning the match and amend your statement. “Or at least, not the only reason.”

Kimberly blinks at you slowly, almost seeming to size you up. Finally, slowly, she shrugs. “Maybe a new guy was a really good excuse to not be just another item on an incredibly long list of things that Tommy Oliver has to apologize for.”

You shake your head. “Why would you be on that list?”

She leans forward. “Well, it’s hard for Tommy to hurt people. Especially people who he’s already hurt. If I didn’t break up with him, he never would have broken up with me. He would have been held back by the thought of hurting me.”

“Why did you think he needed to break up with you?”

She smiles softly. “Sometimes you just fall out of love with people. You know, he didn’t call me once after I left for Florida? Wrote me a total of one letter, not even a full page, even though I wrote him every day.” She shrugs, still smiling. “He was too busy to love me. And then I realized that I didn’t care. We fell out of love with each other.”

You think about that for a while. Wonder if you had anything to do with it on his end. “I’m sorry,” you finally say.

Kim laughs. “Oh, honey it’s not even _close_ to your fault. And I don’t blame you a bit.”

You don’t look at her. “Still, I’m sorry.”

“Well, maybe that’s the reason you two are so perfect for one another. You both won’t quit apologizing for things that aren’t your fault.”

(Or maybe that’s the reason you’re not.)

 

You feel guilty for spending a lot of time thinking of ways to break up with Tommy without hurting him.

What would you even say to him?

“I can’t date you because you’re too good of a person.”

“I can’t date you because you look at me and still see someone else.”

“I can’t date you because you’re too focused on saving the world, and I’m afraid that you’ll forget to save yourself.”

The truth won’t work, and that’s what you feel guilty about.

You wonder if Kimberly felt the need to apologize for her lie before it even leaked out of her pen in the way that you feel like you need to apologize for yours before you’ve even thought of it.

 

You feel like Justin should be something that you’re sorry for. Sorry that his home life sucks. Sorry for encouraging a twelve-year-old to risk his life. Sorry for robbing him of his childhood. Sorry for treating him like a child. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

 

(You take up too much space. Maybe floating is better.)

 

Tanya tells you that she thinks that leaving as soon as you all can after graduation is a good idea. It’s probably one of the most panic-inducing moments of your life. You haven’t done enough, not nearly enough, and you’re not ready to leave.

But everyone else thinks it’s a great idea, so of course you have to go along with it. You’ll find a replacement like everyone else. You’ll go to London to become a ballerina, attending a dance university on a scholarship. Everything will be fine.

 

(You stare up at Cassie and bite down on your apology.)

 

Before you get on the plane, you look at Tommy and remember standing high above him on a diving board way back when he still looked at Kimberly like he’s looking at you now. You remember feeling like your old self for the first time in a long time as you looked down on him.

Now when you remember standing on that particular diving board, you just remember staring down at the depths of your wrongs and plunging into them.

You tell him that long distance isn’t going to work for you.

 

Adam tries to kill himself, and you can’t get a plane until a week after the fact.

Of all the people to try morphing with a broken morpher, Adam isn't at the top of your list. To be honest, you don't even know if you _have_ a list. Your teammates all have perfectly functional morphers to do stupid things with; they don't need to use broken ones.

He comes to the door after you knock for about two minutes straight. He looks briefly surprised to see you but invites you in almost immediately. You notice that the bruises on his face look faded and that he can almost hide the limp he walks with.

“If you’re gonna yell at me, just know that the record so far is held by Aisha at an hour and fifteen minutes,” he says, closing the door and moving toward his apartment’s kitchen area. “Want some food before you go at it?”

You take a minute to digest that before asking calmly, “Did she go straight through? Or take breaks in between major points?”

Adam smiles wryly as he gets some bread out. “She and Rocky actually tag-teamed their yelling, but I counted, and her total minutes were seventy five while Rocky only clocked in at thirty.”

“Never was a big talker. Here, let me,” you say suddenly, moving to help him get out materials for sandwiches. Something is obviously wrong with his arm, and he only protests a little to your help. You wave him off. “Who else has made the rounds?” you ask.

Adam sighs as he walks around to sit at his counter. “Well, Tanya was first; her studio’s only a couple of cities over. I think Alpha or Ashley called her, but I haven’t figured out which. Kim swung by next; she yelled the least. Jason came a day later, and they both hung out here for about a day. Justin and his dad dropped by; Justin told him that I got hurt really bad in a competition. Rocky and Aisha were last because they had the farthest to travel, besides you. Tommy called, but he apparently can’t make it because he still has one more final to take, but he still yelled at me over the phone. And now you’re here, being way too cool about this.”

“I am not being ‘way too cool,’” you protest lightly.

“You’re standing in my kitchen making sandwiches instead of taking this prime opportunity to tell me how idiotic I am.”

You look up at him and smile. “You’re idiotic.” You turn your attention back to cutting the sandwich. “Zeo would have been faster.”

You hand him half the sandwich, ignoring the look on his face, before taking a bite of your half.

“What?” Adam finally manages.

“Zeo would have been faster,” you repeat patiently. “The broken coin probably gave you a longer run and beat up your body a lot worse, but the crystal… The power surge would have been short and fast. You would have burned out quickly and defeated the monster as well.” He’s looking at you like he doesn’t understand what you’re saying. You shrug, continuing anyway. “So, you’re an idiot for not using the Zeo crystal. It has two more years of power surging through it; if we had to stop using them after just one because they were getting too powerful for humans to handle, after three years of concentrated power your crystal would have provided you with an excellent final blaze of glory.”

It takes Adam a while to find his voice. “I wasn’t trying to kill myself, Kat.”

You stare at him. “Really?” Another shrug, nonchalant. “Could have fooled me.”

He sighs, like he’s preparing himself for something. “I just felt like I had to do something because all those people—”

“—were going to die because the boy you picked to replace you wouldn’t help them. So you felt guilty. And you figured you would set things right. Do the right thing now to erase the wrongs of your past. Who cares if you die in the process, right?”

You can hear the coolness in his voice when he says, “I didn’t exactly think about it that way.”

“But you secretly thought about it that way. Think about it, Adam. Put yourself back in the moment. Do you not feel it?”

“You have no idea what I feel, Katherine,” Adam says, his voice flat.

You curl your hands into fists on the countertop, and you lose your voice momentarily. “You think I have no idea what you feel? I-I’ve been doing what you just did my whole life, and you think I have no idea what you feel. Have you never noticed? Did you never realize? I never asked any of you to teach me to fight. I volunteered to become evil again for a plan Tommy had. I took on Archerina by myself when I knew I couldn’t win. I demorphed, knowing that I couldn’t morph again, in front of someone trying to kill me. I was the last one to use the Zeo powers. I honestly gave it my best shot while I was a ranger to die, and I failed, so I live my life with a Zeo morpher ghosting across my wrist, reminding me of what I didn't do. And _you_ think I don't know how you feel.”

He’s looking at you, and the expression feels familiar. You’re seventeen again, standing in the Command Center, holding your new power coin. All your new teammates are smiling and congratulating you, but you catch this look in Adam’s eye. He’s measuring you against a better girl, and you don’t live up. The look is the same now, but he’s measuring you against a different girl. The Kat he thought you were. The look is less menacing now. More accepting.

“Well, you’ve said what you needed to say. Don’t you have a plane to catch?” His tone is far less cold, less unwelcoming than it was before. More curious. More like the Adam you knew once upon a time. You restrain your smile. You got through to him, on some level.

“You’re ushering me out, and I haven’t even finished my sandwich,” you say. “Besides, we have all summer, and you can barely move your arm. Why don’t I stay awhile? At least until I’m sure that you can stand for longer than a minute without falling over.”

He looks a little unconvinced. “Don’t you have a school to be going to?”

You shrug, picking up your sandwich again. “I only had one more final to take when I got the call. I got permission to take it early.” You look up at him and smile. “You’d be amazed how understanding professors are when you tell them your best friend tried to commit suicide.”

You stay for the whole summer.

 

You become a ballerina, officially, with a touring group. You don’t land a lot of leads, but that’s okay. You’re learning that a lot of things are okay.

 

You’re with Tanya when Zordon dies.

You can’t look at each other for three months.

 

You start thinking about the things that are indirectly your fault. Things that you might have prevented had you stayed. Maybe Zordon would still be alive. Maybe Kendrix wouldn’t have died for Cassie. Maybe Cassie would still be okay.

You know that Cassie _isn’t_ okay, even when Kendrix comes back to life, because of Karone. You’ve never met her, but she calls you and tells you that Cassie isn’t doing well. You invite Karone over to your place to talk, and the two of you stay up late with wine and popcorn, getting to know one another.

“How did you get over what you’ve been through?” you ask after the second bowl of popcorn.

Karone laughs, a little harshly. “What I’ve been through?” She shakes her head. “Astronema wasn’t something I went through; Astronema was something I did.” Her eyes look cold and distant, but something about them draws you in. “You don’t get over something like that, I think. And, over the past few years, I’ve come to understand that I don’t deserve forgiveness. No amount of rights will ever cancel out my wrongs. The universe doesn’t care how many people I saved by switching sides, by becoming a ranger. But, the universe also doesn’t care about how many lives I’ve destroyed.” She shrugs. “The universe gives everybody things they don’t deserve. So maybe the best I can do is try to forgive myself.” She smiles at you suddenly. “How about you? Did you ever get over being evil?”

You shrug. “Maybe. I was doing better before Zordon died. Finally moving on. His death brought up a bunch of old feelings of guilt. But, my friends are forgiving. I just try to accept that.”

Karone nods, a thought growing behind her eyes. “Maybe that’s what Cassie needs. Someone to forgive her.”

Karone has an idea, and you don’t like it.

 

You knock on Cassie’s door the next day.

“There’s something I want to show you,” you hesitantly say to her when she opens it. “But you have to take me there. Do you have permission to use the Megaship?”

Cassie seems to be recovering from the shock of seeing you standing on her doorstep, but she nods. “Of course.”

 

The Megaship feels weird to you. It smells like an artificial atmosphere. You tell Cassie that, and she looks at you strangely and tells you that fake air doesn’t have a smell. You disagree. It’s a smell you associate with betraying your friends' trust.

 

It’s a short trip to the moon, but you have Cassie circle around three times before you see the blip in the shield that signifies the location of Zedd’s palace. You’re almost surprised that the magic camouflage has held up for this long, considering how many villains have taken up residence on the moon.

You show Cassie how to by-pass the shields, and you both teleport in.

The palace is in ruins, but it doesn’t crumble beneath your feet.

You stand there in your own personal dungeon and breathe in the stale artificial atmosphere. If you close your eyes, you can feel Zedd breathing down your neck, disapproving of you. You can hear Rita’s cackle echoing through the halls.

“Do you know how I became a ranger, Cassie?” you ask. Your voice echoes, despite how softly you speak.

You see Cassie nod out of the corner of your eye. “Is this Zedd’s palace?”

“This is where I stood,” you say, instead of answering. “Whenever Rita needed me to—” The words stick in your throat, and you swallow. “This is where I stood.”

You can feel the silence, the weight of the pause.

“You can remember?” Cassie asks, even more quiet than before.

You resist the urge to laugh. “Of course I remember. I did it, didn’t I?” You turn slowly to face her, the light from the vent slicing up her face. “Do you think it was my fault, Cassie?” you breathe.

Another pause. “No. No, it was Rita’s fault.”

“But what if it was my fault?” you ask. “Would you forgive me? If you were on my team then, would you forgive me?”

Cassie thinks about the question, which you appreciate, before she nods. “Always.”

You nod in return and then look over at where Zedd’s throne used to stand and feel terror creep up your throat. You force it back down so you can speak.

“Well, then I forgive you.” Cassie looks immediately confused, so you elaborate. “Whatever you feel guilty for wasn’t your fault. Zordon’s death was Dark Spectre’s fault. Kendrix’s death was the Psycho Rangers’ fault.” Cassie’s eyes sort of cloud over, and she looks ready to argue so you finish quickly. “ _But_ , if any of it was your fault, I forgive you. Because you’d do the same for me.”

(One more good thing, even if the universe doesn’t care.)

 

You grow up and grow out of being a ballerina. You’re getting tired of it when the company you work for offers you a job as a recruiter. They tell you that you’d be working mostly in the States. You accept without even thinking.

 

You’re drinking coffee with Kim on a lazy Saturday morning when you find out that Tommy has become a ranger again. Kim nearly chokes on her coffee when she recognizes his fighting style on the news coverage of the Reefside rangers’ new black.

“Green, white, red, black,” you remark lightly, pouring yourself another cup. “All the colors of a nasty bruise. The kind that just won’t go away. Want some alcohol in that coffee?”

Kim laughs and waves off your offer, making her engagement ring catch the light.

 

You meet Kira accidentally.

You’re in New York, scouting talent from some performing arts schools. It’s your last night in town, and you’re in a bar. Kira is obviously trying to avoid attention because she chose the darkest corner booth. You only see her because you nearly trip into her on the way to the bathroom.

“I’m so s—,” you begin automatically before your eyes even register that you know who she is. The rest of the word gets lost when you realize you know her. You recognize her from one of Tanya’s Facebook posts from when Kira opened for her tour.

It only takes five minutes of slightly clumsy introductions for you to be ordering drinks with her and exchanging stories.

A lot of that night is a blur, but one moment stands out starkly to you.

You’ve both had too many drinks, and she asks, “What was the day like when you realized that you had fallen out of love with Tommy?”

The question strikes you as one of the funniest things you’ve ever heard, so you throw back your head and laugh and laugh, and she’s laughing a little too, caught up in you for a moment. You finally take another shot and answer, “Oh sweetie, I think the better question is, was there ever a day I was _in_ love with him?”

Maybe the alcohol makes you too bitter or maybe it just makes you honest with yourself. You still haven’t decided. And maybe you don’t care.

 

It is years later, and you Google “power rangers” out of curiosity. There are images and news articles and wikis and a fan website and a couple of fanfiction pages and YouTube videos and interviews with the public identity teams and a Buzzfeed quiz asking if they can guess if you’re secretly a power ranger. (You resist the urge to click on it.)

But there’s also an op-ed New York Times article on the first page of results titled, “Power Rangers: Heroes or Terrorists?”

You find that it is a detailed account of everything the rangers, “from the dinosaurs to the samurais,” have done wrong. It includes evil rangers, property destruction, people the rangers have failed to save, times the rangers have failed or run or not shown up at all. The article rails against the rangers’ lack of accountability, rails the government for not getting them under control, rails the public identity rangers for not giving up the identities of the other rangers.

Your transgressions fail to make the list. What you did was not very public. In fact, no one even knows about you at all outside of being Zeo Pink. No one has ever really guessed that early teams switched out people. They all just figured that every time there was a suit change, there were ranger changes and that was that.

You are insignificant to the public. Your wrongs are invisible.

You realize that the article is vastly too short, not nearly comprehensive enough. Every ranger carries around something they should apologize for. They carry their sins like bullets that were never removed; the skin heals over, but you can still feel the metal resting inside you.

But maybe it’s time to dig the metal out.

 

Everyone is buzzing about the new team, and everyone is going to scout them out. Kira texts you about how pissed Tommy and Trent are about their zords getting stolen by the new sixth and about how, when their team visited, she had to physically restrain them from picking a fight with him.

Some of the rangers _have_ engaged with the new team, but you’re just going to go look. You’re curious. You schedule dinner with Aisha and Trini (since they’re in the States and staying nearby) that night so you can tell them all about it.

You find the rangers in a yogurt place with an owner named Ernie. It’s a little disconcerting, if you’re honest with yourself.

The first thing you notice about the team is the girl with hints of pink in her outfit and hints of power in her gaze. She’s telling a story to the rest of her color coded friends, and they’re all roaring with laughter. They all look happy, peaceful. The scene strikes something in you.

Eventually, you get up to throw your trash away. As you turn to leave, the girl runs into you.

“Oh!” she exclaims. “I am so sorry!”

It’s almost like she triggers something in you with those four simple words. You look at her and think about Kimberly with glowing eyes. Think about Jason ripping those chains in two. Think about Aisha not saying goodbye. Think about Rocky standing up to Mondo. Think about Billy giving up. Think about Tommy declaring himself king of the Machine Empire. Think about Justin gripping his Turbo key. Think about Tanya suggesting that you all leave. Think about looking up at Cassie. Think about Adam clutching a broken morpher.

You’ve thought about all these things before. But now think about how you forgave them. Even before they had committed a single sin, you forgave them.

So smile at the girl as you say your next sentence.

“Oh, sweetheart, trust me.”

Follow your own example, for once. Take your own advice.

“You have nothing to apologize for.”

Trust in the brightness of this girl’s smile. Shake off your past. Walk forward into the future.

(Forgive yourself.)

**Author's Note:**

> yes, i did one hundred percent came up with a bullshit reason why they had to give up the zeo powers just for the purposes of this fic, and yes i one hundred percent don't remember the chronology of zeo so that whole section might be ?????
> 
> follow the lovely kathillards on tumblr over at kathillards.tumblr.com (pr blog) or astoriamalfoys.tumblr.com (main blog)!!!!!
> 
> (come chat with the lovely ME about how much you love katherine hillard over at powerprincesses.tumblr.com)


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